You know what's the suckiest thing in the world? A friend who stabs you in the back!!

Somehow I have been lucky that in all these many years I did not suffer this kind of betrayal....but yesterday somebody who I considered to be one of my closest friends backstabbed me so badly that I am going to be careful even considering forging a friendship with somebody new after this. Not only did she manipulate certain confidences that I had shared with her to suit her own needs, she also outright lied about me to damage my professional and personal integrity. And the sad power is that it is I who gave her the power to do that - by opening myself upto her, by revealing my vulnerabilities and, above all, putting her in a position of strength where her words about me have credibility with the concerned party. Basically, I think I just trusted too much.

Why did she do it? I am still trying to figure that one out. The only thing that makes sense to me is that in her twisted, competitive way she could gain an upper edge by running me down. The sad part is that I did not even know that we were in competition with each other in any manner.

You know, in some way its worse being betrayed by your friend than being betrayed by your boyfriend. We invest so much in friendships, we tell our friends everything - we even tell them things that we won't dream of telling our boyfriends. A successful love affair is usually built on a heap of compromises and adjustments, but a great friendship is built on simply accepting the other person with all their foibles, eccentricities and weaknesses.

This reminds me of something I had heard as a kid:

"Have your friends, treat them such,
Never let them know too much;
For if your friend becomes your foe,
The whole world your secrets will know."

I am going to treat these lines like the writ of God from now on.